Sure, I could have spent my afternoons conditioning my leg muscles and juicing up and all of that, but as an unmodified 8-year-old, I wasn’t capable of it. And, for much of my life, I couldn’t do it unassisted. Sometimes my Dad would lift me up so I could feel the sensation. I would jump as high and as hard as I could and I longed to feel the tips of my fingers brush up against the wood that held our doors up. When I was a younger kid, a pass through a doorway in my house always meant I would try to jump up and reach the door jamb. I don’t know if that makes me weak or if I don’t have “what it takes” or some other similar symptom of “ordinary”, but it just ain’t happening. Not wanting to count myself among the ordinary, I instead sit here and wish and hope and will myself into the mode where I can actually write things that people will find valuable and want to read and that I don’t think is utter shit. But, according to the books, these are the trials that cripple the “regulars” the people that rely on inspiration and ideal conditions to create their best work. I could blame any number of possible mitigators for this unfortunate state: the heat, the lack of a break or maybe something to do with sleeping/eating/pooping or whatever. For some reason, today, the words aren’t coming. Yesterday, I wrote over 3000 usable words and felt like a machine. I’ve been trying to write for the last 5 hours and I’ve produced a grand total of about 400 usable words. Right now, though, I’m sitting at this table in front of my computer. And, man, I felt like I could turn over a Jeep with my bare mitts when I read them. I’ve read plenty of books on creativity and working and pushing yourself and treating the work like the almost-insurmountable beast that it is. I wrote a lot of good stuff and I felt like the end was in sight. I spent 8 hours here yesterday doing the same thing: writing, compiling, editing. As I write this, it’s a Sunday afternoon and I’m sitting in my friend’s apartment (where there’s air conditioning, which my house lacks, and it’s 95F outside) trying to wrap up the third version of Evernote Essentials.
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